Cara (causticacrostic) wrote,
Cara
causticacrostic

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Boringness....

So, another day has come and almost gone. Again, nothing has made me very happy today. My head hurts and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just wish that things were going a bit better for me......ok, well, a lot better. I'm tired of feeling like shit all the time, and I miss feeling like things are at least vaguely ok. I'm not happy with a lot of things in my life right now. For one, I hate the way I look....I have THE lowest self-esteem imaginable. Secondly, school is kicking my ass. I'm afraid of dissapointing my parents and more importantly myself. I'm not happy with my social situation here at school. I love my friends that I have, dont get me wrong, but I miss having friends that I have more in common with. I miss being able to mention a band and a friend be like, "yeah, they rock" or "they suck" rather than being the one who introduces the music to everyone else. I miss having friends who are just like, "im going to ambush, come with me"....my friends here arent like that. I don't like them any less because of it, I just wish that I had the kind of friends that I have back home here at school. Then, theres the omnipresent issue of me not having a boyfriend. Im not like boy crazy or anything, but it would be nice to feel important to someone in that way. I've only really felt like that once in my life, and even then, his feelings changed so quickly, and he messed with my head so much, that im not sure what to believe about him. i dont know...i guess i just feel like im missing out on something that so many other people are a part of. blah...life is so complicated...
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